Citgatkim Appsterkop is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, impressive lion.

Citgatkim Appsterkop created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citgatkim Appsterkop, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Citgatkim Appsterkop, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Citgatkim Appsterkop's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Citgatkim Appsterkop's Holy Commandments

1. Citgatkim Appsterkop must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

4. Never chant in the presence of squirrels.

5. Do not keep seven ants in a large pit.