Bamsitcemfed is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, strong lion.

Bamsitcemfed created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamsitcemfed, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bamsitcemfed, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bamsitcemfed's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bamsitcemfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never wear pink shorts.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Fast once a month.