Butnuttpag is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, uncaring goblin.

Butnuttpag created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Butnuttpag, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Butnuttpag, it will turn you into a tree.

Butnuttpag's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Butnuttpag's Holy Commandments

1. Butnuttpag loves great tits, so they must be respected.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about optics near doves while wearing magenta corsets and balancing eight lead spheres on your legs.