Dad is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, bad-tempered spider.

Dad created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dad, she will turn you into a plant.

Dad's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Do not kill frogs.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.