Fagbonkpag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, self-assured goose.

Fagbonkpag created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagbonkpag, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fagbonkpag, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Fagbonkpag's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Fagbonkpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to ants while wearing dresses.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Fagbonkpag must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.