Flatjadkab is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, selfish mole.

Flatjadkab created the Virgo Supercluster five million years ago.

If you believe in Flatjadkab, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flatjadkab, she will think nothing of it.

Flatjadkab's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Flatjadkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Flatjadkab loves moths, so they must be honoured.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Never mention manatees.