Hakortgab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, boastful crocodile.

Hakortgab created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakortgab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hakortgab, she will turn you into a frog.

Hakortgab's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Hakortgab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three snails approach from the north.

2. Never write about bacteria.

3. Never hurt great tits.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never sit near shrews.