Biglenrot Dindubflig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, idiotic walrus.

Biglenrot Dindubflig created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Biglenrot Dindubflig, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Biglenrot Dindubflig, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Biglenrot Dindubflig's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Biglenrot Dindubflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Biglenrot Dindubflig on top of all buildings.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about optics near dogs while wearing magenta stockings and balancing four nickel spheres on your neck.

5. Do not speak about cherries.