Stragbetbonkvonflanzaktitnill Zignuttrot Sigbammutlunhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, sage mink.

Stragbetbonkvonflanzaktitnill Zignuttrot Sigbammutlunhiv created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Stragbetbonkvonflanzaktitnill Zignuttrot Sigbammutlunhiv, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stragbetbonkvonflanzaktitnill Zignuttrot Sigbammutlunhiv, it will manifest in front of you.

Stragbetbonkvonflanzaktitnill Zignuttrot Sigbammutlunhiv's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Stragbetbonkvonflanzaktitnill Zignuttrot Sigbammutlunhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of nuts to moths while wearing black jumpers.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near nematodes while wearing blue stockings and balancing seven tin spheres on your head.

3. Never think ill of sick gulls.

4. Worship no other gods but Stragbetbonkvonflanzaktitnill Zignuttrot Sigbammutlunhiv.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.