Piblabsawbem is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, narcissistic tortoise.

Piblabsawbem created parasitic wasps nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Piblabsawbem, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Piblabsawbem, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Piblabsawbem's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Piblabsawbem's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Piblabsawbem loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

3. Piblabsawbem must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Respect your elders.