Megbonkliprul is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, pitiless lizard.

Megbonkliprul created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Megbonkliprul, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Megbonkliprul, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Megbonkliprul's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Megbonkliprul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near hamsters while wearing green tights and balancing eight iron spheres on your neck.

3. Never feed peanuts to pigs while wearing dresses.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.