Disstiknegvogcissarn is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, calm finch.

Disstiknegvogcissarn created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Disstiknegvogcissarn, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Disstiknegvogcissarn, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Disstiknegvogcissarn's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Disstiknegvogcissarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Disstiknegvogcissarn must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink alcohol.