Jongadhun Jadquartgam is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, witty deer.

Jongadhun Jadquartgam created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jongadhun Jadquartgam, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jongadhun Jadquartgam, it will cry a lot.

Jongadhun Jadquartgam's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Jongadhun Jadquartgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near doves while wearing gray trousers.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Always look after injured hamsters.