Tiklarpomt is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, charitable pig.

Tiklarpomt created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiklarpomt, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tiklarpomt, she will destroy your home planet.

Tiklarpomt's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tiklarpomt's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tiklarpomt first in all things.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about quantum gravity.