Garwap is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, capable salamander.

Garwap created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garwap, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Garwap, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Garwap's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Garwap's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Garwap.

2. Never paint your chest black.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Garwap on top of all buildings.

4. Do not take Garwap's name in vain.

5. Never jump in holy places.