Cethunapp is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, cheerful swallow.

Cethunapp created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cethunapp, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Cethunapp, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cethunapp's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cethunapp's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six sheep approach from the south.

2. Feed all hungry mites.

3. Never paint your face yellow.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.