Parkappboss is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, temperamental otter.

Parkappboss created the Sombrero Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkappboss, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Parkappboss, he will turn you into a plant.

Parkappboss' most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Parkappboss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Never feed turnips to snakes while wearing red boots.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Always wear black.