Wiprutstik Besslungud is a god.

She takes the form of a large, deceitful squirrel.

Wiprutstik Besslungud created the Andromeda Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wiprutstik Besslungud, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wiprutstik Besslungud, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Wiprutstik Besslungud's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Wiprutstik Besslungud's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mites.

2. Wiprutstik Besslungud must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Always stare at clouds.