Cipsafhat is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, resourceful wombat.

Cipsafhat created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cipsafhat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cipsafhat, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cipsafhat's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Cipsafhat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

2. Always look after injured cats.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cipsafhat.