Dutgadlarptomzedtail is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tranquil jaguar.

Dutgadlarptomzedtail created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dutgadlarptomzedtail, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dutgadlarptomzedtail, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Dutgadlarptomzedtail's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Dutgadlarptomzedtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to foxes while wearing skirts.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Dutgadlarptomzedtail on top of all buildings.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.