Binweespagarpnakgupcinjop is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, generous wolf.

Binweespagarpnakgupcinjop created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Binweespagarpnakgupcinjop, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Binweespagarpnakgupcinjop, it will remove you from existence.

Binweespagarpnakgupcinjop's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Binweespagarpnakgupcinjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Retreat if four hamsters approach from the west.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

4. Never feed cucumbers to dolphins while wearing hats.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.