Tagbuntim is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, tiresome guinea pig.

Tagbuntim created an atom seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagbuntim, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tagbuntim, she will turn you into a sheep.

Tagbuntim's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tagbuntim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never write about electromagnetism.