Bonkxinflap is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, conceited squirrel.

Bonkxinflap created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkxinflap, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bonkxinflap, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bonkxinflap's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bonkxinflap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Bonkxinflap in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never write about fluid mechanics.

4. Never wear black coats.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.