Gadzenwadmatkapbassmobsag is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, vain yak.

Gadzenwadmatkapbassmobsag created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadzenwadmatkapbassmobsag, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gadzenwadmatkapbassmobsag, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gadzenwadmatkapbassmobsag's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Gadzenwadmatkapbassmobsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about goats.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.