Jonjam is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, vain hydra.

Jonjam created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonjam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jonjam, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Jonjam's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Jonjam's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never write about solid mechanics.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not wear indigo clothing.