Jigfabspag Kemcissmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, sapient bee.

Jigfabspag Kemcissmeg created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jigfabspag Kemcissmeg, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Jigfabspag Kemcissmeg, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jigfabspag Kemcissmeg's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Jigfabspag Kemcissmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not wear magenta clothing.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near geese while wearing pink shorts and balancing six titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Respect your elders.