Yartpas is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, calm dolphin.

Yartpas created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yartpas, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yartpas, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Yartpas' most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Yartpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never eat bark.