Watbimcut is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unsympathetic goblin.

Watbimcut created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Watbimcut, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Watbimcut, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Watbimcut's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Watbimcut's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about gravity near moths while wearing orange hats and balancing seven silicon spheres on your hands.

4. Watbimcut loves whales, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.