Bighakgupfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a large, able fish.

Bighakgupfoss created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bighakgupfoss, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bighakgupfoss, it will jump up and down on your head.

Bighakgupfoss' most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Bighakgupfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Bighakgupfoss on top of all buildings.

2. Always help ants in need.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

5. Always help porpoises.