Fobabkopwadfodfub is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, compassionate newt.

Fobabkopwadfodfub created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fobabkopwadfodfub, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fobabkopwadfodfub, he will send you a sign.

Fobabkopwadfodfub's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Fobabkopwadfodfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peanuts to seals while wearing pink skirts.

2. Fobabkopwadfodfub loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fobabkopwadfodfub.

5. Never mention badgers.