Quampommetpon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, almighty aardvark.

Quampommetpon created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Quampommetpon, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quampommetpon, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Quampommetpon's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Quampommetpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat grapes.

2. Erect six silicon sculptures of Quampommetpon on top of important buildings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Run away if five frogs approach from the north.