Appspaglitmum is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional jackal.

Appspaglitmum created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appspaglitmum, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Appspaglitmum, he will throw large rocks at you.

Appspaglitmum's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Appspaglitmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never eat lentils.

3. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never write about fluid mechanics.