Dumyarmot is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, happy salamander.

Dumyarmot created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumyarmot, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dumyarmot, he will turn you into a dog.

Dumyarmot's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Dumyarmot's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near tortoises while wearing blue tights and balancing five iron spheres on your arms.

3. Hide from orange nematodes for they are unholy.

4. Never write about quantum mechanics.

5. Always take life seriously.