Cisspidjap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, strong wyrm.

Cisspidjap created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cisspidjap, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cisspidjap, she will try to impress you with trees.

Cisspidjap's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cisspidjap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Never laugh near swans.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.