Tarzoggun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest spider.

Tarzoggun created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarzoggun, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarzoggun, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tarzoggun's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tarzoggun's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight rats approach from the south.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.