Monsoghit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, wise hummingbird.

Monsoghit created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monsoghit, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Monsoghit, she will jump up and down on your head.

Monsoghit's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Monsoghit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Never think about special relativity near goats while wearing fawn shoes and balancing six silver spheres on your neck.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Always pray immersed in water.