Flankipflag is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, irritating dolphin.

Flankipflag created a charm quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flankipflag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flankipflag, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Flankipflag's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Flankipflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of corn to tortoises while wearing red tights.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always treat snails with great respect.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.