Sakmobjopmeg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, loving seal.

Sakmobjopmeg created gold seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakmobjopmeg, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sakmobjopmeg, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sakmobjopmeg's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Sakmobjopmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not hurt hamsters.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Sakmobjopmeg loves badgers, so they must be respected.