Fumzan is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, contented dingo.

Fumzan created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumzan, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fumzan, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Fumzan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Fumzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing brown kilts and balancing four aluminium spheres on your chest.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Worship no other gods but Fumzan.