Xuckkaphap is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, caring fly.

Xuckkaphap created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckkaphap, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Xuckkaphap, it will turn you into a snail.

Xuckkaphap's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Xuckkaphap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum field theory.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always help dogs.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.