Sandlarnlakbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a small, blissful octopus.

Sandlarnlakbiss created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandlarnlakbiss, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sandlarnlakbiss, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sandlarnlakbiss' most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Sandlarnlakbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never wear rings.