Fatstafcam is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, generous grasshopper.

Fatstafcam created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fatstafcam, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fatstafcam, she will throw large rocks at you.

Fatstafcam's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Fatstafcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. You must love Fatstafcam.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.