Tonkzan is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, omniscient badger.

Tonkzan created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkzan, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tonkzan, it will destroy your home planet.

Tonkzan's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tonkzan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never feed lots of coconuts to dolphins while wearing gray ear rings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.