Cetmitfut Bapfasnel is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident weasel.

Cetmitfut Bapfasnel created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetmitfut Bapfasnel, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cetmitfut Bapfasnel, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cetmitfut Bapfasnel's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Cetmitfut Bapfasnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never mention capybaras.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cetmitfut Bapfasnel.