Kiktenab is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, almighty cobra.

Kiktenab created life two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kiktenab, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Kiktenab, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kiktenab's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Kiktenab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never eat strawberries.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about optics near tortoises while wearing gray shoes and balancing four aluminium spheres on your legs.