Kikgofdun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, ill-tempered horse.

Kikgofdun created bats three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikgofdun, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kikgofdun, he will turn you into a snail.

Kikgofdun's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Kikgofdun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kikgofdun.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.