Kadtipflap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, narcissistic newt.

Kadtipflap created the Whirlpool Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadtipflap, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kadtipflap, she will torture you forever.

Kadtipflap's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Kadtipflap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tortoises.

2. Do not eat gooseberries.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not take Kadtipflap's name in vain.

5. Never think about gravity.