Tabfedpanfag is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, humane salamander.

Tabfedpanfag created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabfedpanfag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tabfedpanfag, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Tabfedpanfag's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tabfedpanfag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Tabfedpanfag must be the most important thing in your life.