Tarbastpig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, humane swan.

Tarbastpig created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarbastpig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tarbastpig, she will manifest in front of you.

Tarbastpig's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tarbastpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Tarbastpig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

5. Never talk about fire.