Tarstipwigneg is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, benevolent bat.

Tarstipwigneg created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarstipwigneg, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarstipwigneg, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tarstipwigneg's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tarstipwigneg's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tarstipwigneg.

5. Never eat bark.